Friday 9 August 2013

It's Friday . . . Let's Dance

Right., I'm back from less than the most relaxing week in Machrihanish that I've ever had but for now I'm not going to go into details, suffice to say I am not "chilled".

Unlike France I have been able to connect to the rest of the world so that may have something to do with my less than zen like state. I have dipped in and out of Twitter,  read the blogs and kept up to date with JC's holidays, talk about kicking the fucking arse out of a birthday, I thought some of my mates had gone over the top when they were forty but the Vinyl Villain has made them look like rank amateurs and fair play to the man, as Mr H said to me a while ago in a comment "we pass this way but once, so rip the pish out of it if you can". The last bit I added myself but I'm sure that is what he meant.

One thing on Twitter began to bug me this week, it appeared a while ago but I ignored it thinking that it would go away but it hasn't and 6 fucking Music are giving it the air of publicity and therefore legitimising it at the same time which is not on and that is Cassette Shop Day!

There never was a fucking shop that just sold cassettes!

This day has been made up by guys in there twenties, in skinny jeans that barely cover their arses, sporting facial fucking hair and wearing plaid shirts, who have never had to deal with a fucking C120 that has decided to break in their home or personal stereo and has then had to spend the next fucking six hours trying to get the remains of the tape of off the rollers inside the machine while electrocuting yourself ever so slightly as the only way of doing so is to cut the tape with those very small scissors that females seem to have or tweezers that also have to be purloined from your girlfriend or mother while the play button has been deployed. They just think that they are being ironic. 

Well you can just fuck off,  as some of us remember just how pish cassettes were, still have them as part of our collections and certainly don't want any more, so that they can squeak and rumble when we are trying to listen to the music and yes,  I will put up with pops and crackles of vinyl but the sound of a dog's plastic toy or the rumble of T20 tanks, distant it may be but a rumble it still is, are not conducive to a pleasurable listening experience, I exaggerate only ever so slightly.

Nobody ever bought a cassette because the quality was better than vinyl. Pre-recorded cassettes were bought for two fucking reasons.

Firstly, you bought it because you did not have a record player


because you wanted to play the music in your car, on your walkman, ghetto blaster or all such devices and then if you had any sense, you bought the vinyl and had a stock of TDK 90's to tape the album on.

Nobody walked into a record shop, yes that is what they were called, and decided I'll have the tape because it is so much better than having vinyl!

In this day and age there is no fucking need for this second rate medium for listening to music, mp3 fill this catagory. I can be as nostalgic as the next person for a compilation tape, (not a mixtape as that term did not enter common parlance until people started recording dj sets in the late 80s/early 90s,  which are mixtapes), as the next person but give me a break as far as pre-recorded tapes go, they were shit and they still are.

I must confess that in 1992 I bought the cassette single of the Blue Room by the Orb. I bought it for one reason. I was hitching down the road from Aberdeen after spending 4 weeks unsuccessfully trying to find some work and sponging of a lovely girl who deserved better and hadn't heard the track yet so bought it on cassette to listen to on my personal stereo on the way down the road, as I didn't have a portable record player but the following week when I cashed my giro I went and bought the 12" single.

Sorry about that but I needed to get that off my chest.

I was going to post the Blue Room but it ain't a very dancey tune, is it. So here is a track by Fatboy Slim that never came out on cassette.

Have a good weekend people

Fatboy Slim - Wonderful Night


Alex G said...

Serves you right for listening to 6Music.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back. Your rants have been sorely missed. I'd just like to add to your detailed memories of C120 hell that today's youngsters will never experience that exhilarating feeling that came form painstakingly recording an album's worth over a cassette side, giving back the LP to the guy who owned it in the first place, playing the tape for the first time and just then realizing that for some unforeseen problem with the compared velocity of the recording and the playing of the tape the resulting sound was more like an wild experiment in Musique concrète then the actual record one wanted to listen to. Home Taping wasn't just Killing Music back then..

Simon said...

I cannot resist. And trust me I've tried to resist all day.

That's a big one between her legs...

Simon said...

Cassettes: I liked cassettes for the one of the reasons I like MP3s - the ability to sequence your own listening.

Christ though when they screwed up they really screwed up. And the amount of band demos I have on cassette that unless I get my hands on a cassette deck I will never be able to listen to again.

And yes, they were compilation tapes. "You haven't heard The Fall? I'll do you a compilation" as I'm sure you've said to many a young lady in the past.

Charity Chic said...

Another excellent post holiday rant Drew!

Anonymous said...

wow. back with a bang. top, top rant

Anonymous said...

How many times did you spend making a cassette comp, then on playing it think why did I put this or that on it. I also remember buying a 3 pack of C120 around 1980, recording Sandinista on to them and every one broke in tape player. They good for concert bootlegs though.

drew said...

Anon - it was a Billy Bragg bootleg (C120)from a gig at the Barrowlands that killed one of my tape recorders. I never did find another copy of it. Billy opened with a blistering version of Every Fallen In Love.

All thanks for the comments, it needed to be said, Cassette Shop Day, ffs!