Friday 21 December 2018

It's Friday . . . Let's Dance

"I really miss working in a pub on the Friday before Christmas" nobody in their right mind said ever.

Always known up here amongst the unfortunates like me who had to work it as Mad Friday, the night of the amateur drinkers who know fuck all about pub etiquette or when to ask for a pint of Guinness when at the bar with a list, I'll give you a clue it's first, every fucking time, not third not fifth and certainly not last. You also get the tradesman with his apprentice in tow, or maybe the whole team  who have loused early and are now pretty well into it, having forgone lunch or any lumpy stuff whatsoever, the apprentice is now nearly comatosed, ready to vomit or both. Then there are the party goers in their stupid Santa hats or Reindeer Antlers, the ones that say to the bar staff "cheer up it's Christmas". If I had a quid for every time I heard that on a Mad Friday I would have had enough money to keep me drunk all through January when all these tossers "are aff it" and unlikely to set foot in a pub until Easter.

The hardened drinkers, the ones who know how to conduct themselves in a pub stay away from the local on this night or they all congregate in the bar that is unlikely to get any of the punters described above, there will still be a few that enter by mistake but will drink up sharpish as the atmosphere  will not be one of joy and fun.

Too much, too bah humbug?

This tune is for all the unfortunates having to do a shift tonight, when things get too much for you start humming this song and sing the immortal words "sisters, brothers we'll make it to the promised land" I will raise a glass to you from the comfort of my listening chair and remember the good times when that bar keep was me.

Also if you are out tonight and not arseholed yourself be a good sort and buy the bar person a drink, I guarantee that if you are staying in that hostelry for a while you will be noticed when you go up for your next round.

The Diamonds were a bit better last week against Arbroath, who to be honest didn't look that great for a side with 20 odd more points than Airdrie! The team had there chances but we went home disappointed with another defeat but a close one, in what was a highly entertaining game in somewhat inclement weather. Tomorrow it's the long road to Brechin to take on the team three places below us in the league but worrying with only four points fewer.

Joe Smooth feat Anthony Thomas - Promised Land


The Swede said...

Sound advice Drew.
(You haven't linked the tune)

Charity Chic said...

The Slade Brigade will be out in force tonight

Swiss Adam said...

I've been waiting for the Mad Friday post.

Dirk said...

What a rant ... most enjoyable! As far as I know we don't have this here in Germany on the Friday before Christmas. But I once attended such a night in a pub in Northampton years and years ago when being there for business. So I know what you mean ... I must confess I ended up with one of those felt hats as well, I coaxed it out of a lovely young lady who attended a different business thingy in said pub ...

Brian said...

Awesome. Vintage Drew.

JC said...

My works lunch/night out this year was on Mad Friday....which was nice of them to delay things till I returned from my holiday.

All the types ypou mention in your post were on display in Maggie May's in Glasgow...where we ended up with a pre-booking to ensure we got in somewhere. It was gruesome for the most part, although I tried to ignore it by dancing all the time, even to the shitiest of tunes.